ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
