Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize