I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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