someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry about my life...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
