He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
