I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize