Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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