today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
