cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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