Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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