I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
