This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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