It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize