I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
