he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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