did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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