Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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