I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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