I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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