she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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