I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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