your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
