Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Don't forget I'm 20 now

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  I liked you more when you were 19

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  (586): Don't forget I'm 20 now (1-586): I liked you more when you were 19 http://tfl.nu/sj6s
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (1122)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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  (813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec
  Replies (70) Good night (7229) Bad night (729)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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  (778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn
  Replies (7) Good night (5326) Bad night (1200)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand

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  (816): I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand http://tfl.nu/mvpq
  Replies (10) Good night (2269) Bad night (1118)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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  (914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35
  Replies (15) Good night (1589) Bad night (3552)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer

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  (678): I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer http://tfl.nu/ffy6
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (1172)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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  (832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht
  Replies (4) Good night (1970) Bad night (677)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

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  (506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl
  Replies (3) Good night (2285) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis

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  (202): I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis http://tfl.nu/lbuu
  Replies (43) Good night (1106) Bad night (3555)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close

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  (618): I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close http://tfl.nu/i5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (1377) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom

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  (956): You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom http://tfl.nu/ktvk
  Replies (2) Good night (394) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.

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  (712): I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair. http://tfl.nu/sv3u
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.

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  (303): I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b. http://tfl.nu/ab5o
  Replies (9) Good night (537) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.

  (1-714): View more from California

  I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass

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  (714): He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy. (1-714): I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass http://tfl.nu/19re
  Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I mean honestly, what would you have done?

  (805): View more from California

  Not screw her in the church house?

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  (559): I mean honestly, what would you have done? (805): Not screw her in the church house? http://tfl.nu/kmki
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (139)

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