just tell him i said nine months
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
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i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?