so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible