her vagine was all disorganized.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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