Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
ttyl tear gas
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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