3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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