So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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