I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
