My nipple is on Facebook.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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