Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
