I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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