I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
