i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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