would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
