maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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