I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
