google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
