I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
