So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
