She's JV to your varsity
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
