im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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