I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So many bounce houses so little time
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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