Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster