Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
