I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
