this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
