So drunk its hurt
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
