no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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