Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
