I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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