He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
