what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
