i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
