In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
