I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
