I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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