This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize