; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
