He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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