i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
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Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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