dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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