i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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