You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
